The Gift
by frozenwater
Summary: What will happen when one elf gives up her immortality so that another can live forever?


He had come. She had known all along that he would come back to see her. Even though she had told him not to come, he could never forget her. Her sacrifice for him was too great. She stood silently waiting on the stairs as he rode through the arched marble gateway. He was tall, and handsome, with clear blue eyes and brown hair. As he dismounted, her mouth tightened. Memories that had been pushed deep into her heart came flooding out. Riding through the forest laughing. Archery matches. Walking silently through the trees in the moonlight. And then the harsher memories of a woman. A sweet image of perfection had come into his life, and separated them forever. She forced herself to forget, to look coldly at the person who was walking towards her. He knelt at her feet, and kissed her hand in respect, showing the gap between them. Had none of this happened, he would have kissed her cheek. There was an awkward pause, and then she spoke. "You are not welcome, yet still you come. What do you want here? I can give you nothing you desire. Go back to where you came from!" He looked at her as though he could read her deepest thoughts; as though he could see her conflicting emotions. "Come on, can't things be as they always were?" he asked. "I should ask you the same question. You are the one who made me leave in the first place." "No one forced you to go. As I recall, they were begging you to stay." "That's because they knew I could be Shadow-that I could walk absolutely silently, so even the trees couldn't hear. There has not been a Shadow in over a thousand years. They just wanted my talent." "Even you couldn't be silent when it came to what would have been my choice." "You're choice was foolish. The way you are taking now is much better." "I owe it all to you." "I know. Do you think that I don't reflect every day on if I would have been happier in Valinor with you, living immortally instead of being stuck here in loneliness until my mortal life ends?!" "I'm sorry, my lady." "I'm not your lady, not anymore, don't pretend." They stood in silence for a while; then he asked, "Aren't you going to invite me in?" "I don't know. I don't want you to stay, and inviting you in implies that I accept your presence here." "It is the rule of hospitality; you must invite guests in for food and rest. Come now, don't tell me you have retreated that far into your loneliness." She looked at him. "Come with me." She turned and walked up the path. Her dark blue robe trimmed with silver reminded him of the heavens at night. She looked almost angelic, with the sun falling softly on her face, accenting her features. An angel of mercy, sent to give him a special gift that would change his life forever. And now that the gift was given, she couldn't return to heaven. They entered into a plain hall with few decorations. A large table sat in the middle of the room. She pulled out a chair for him and watched as he ate a hearty meal. She herself had nothing. Once she called a servant over and instructed her in a low voice to prepare a room for the stranger and to keep watch for his companion, but other than that, she was silent. After he was done they sat in silence for a while. Eventually he broke the silence. "I have long wished to see the haven you made in the middle of the Wilds. I have felt your presence in the plants around this place, so at least you have not shut yourself in. But where are the men? All your servants are women. Why do you wear a jewel on your forehead-you are not a Caretaker, so it should not be your place, as that custom you taught me so long ago?" "I have no wish to associate with men; they will only remind me of what cannot be. Galadriel told me that even though I was forsaking my people and what would have been my star, the elves would give me a gift. I wear it so that all who ask, even after all of the elves have departed, will remember us and the Eldar Days. It is not the one I used to wear; it is blue not black, but it brings me great joy, that I should be honored thus. "That is a noble gift, truly. I am glad now that you bear it." She stood. "You must be tired from your journey. Inoke will show you to your room. Good night." "Goodnight, Lomtariel." She looked wistfully after him as he walked away, then whispered, "A blessed sleep to you, Morhino." The next morning, Morhino could not find Lomtariel. Asking a servant girl where she was, he got the reply, "Master, my lady has gone out. She said you could roam freely in our halls during her absence. Would you like to go any place in particular?" "No, thank you," he absently replied. At dinner that night, she had not returned. Morhino began to despair of seeing her at all that day. Then the sounds of laughter reached his ears. Lomtariel walked in with Nolawen following closely behind her. "My love," he said and ran to embrace Nolawen. Lomtariel looked away and sighed. "I'm sorry," said Nolawen. "Come and eat," replied Lomtariel. "We have much to discuss." Later that night, the three talked in front of a great fire. "Are you happy here?" asked Nolawen. "I couldn't help but notice you are the only elf here, and all others who dwell here permanently are your servants." "I am as happy here as is now possible for me to be on Middle-Earth. I chose to be alone. I could not be happier if I was to live forever in Valinor." "Is there anything I, we," she glanced at Morhino, "Can do to enhance your happiness here? I can never repay you for the gift you gave me, but I wish I could do something!" pleaded Nolawen. Lomtariel looked straight at her. 'Leave. Leave as quickly as possible, leave these shores, travel to the Valar and trouble me no more. Long have I dreaded your coming, and now that you are here, I hurt so much the worse. Too many memories of happier times you bring, that I had forgotten. Leave me here alone!" With emphasis on the last word, she stood and swept out of the room. Nolawen turned to Morhino. Taking his hand she looked deeply at him. "Hini, dear, you hurt her so much. Do not be angry; she has every right to be cold. We shall leave as she says; but for her gift, I would never see Valinor, nor live forever with you in the West. I will honor what she wishes." She kissed his forehead and stood. "It is late. We travel again tomorrow and need our strength. Come to bed, my darling." He stood also. "Of course." The next morning, the couple rode off with quick good-bye's and fresh supplies. Three days later, before nightfall, Nolawen spoke to her husband. "There is someone following us. I can sense watchful eyes. What do you hear?" "I hear nothing." He looked at her. "Even the trees do not whisper of anyone approaching. You must be mistaken." She looked troubled. "We shall see," she said. Later that night, Morhino awoke to two eyes staring at him in the darkness. Then they were gone. He rubbed his eyes. Nothing. "Must have been dreaming," he thought. Two days later, again Nolawen insisted that someone was following them. This time his opinion had changed. "Yes. Lomtariel is following us. I remember now that her powers as Night Queen included deceiving the trees as to her passing. She has come to see us off into the West." He did not look at Nolawen while he said this, nor did he slow their pace. She understood. Weeks later, two ships left the place called The Grey Havens. Unseen by all, on a high cliff overlooking the sea stood a hooded figure, watching the white dots disappear into the distance. It was Lomtariel. A tear slipped down her cheek. She swiftly turned and went back into the Wild.  
  
"What happened to her, mother?" the little girl asked. The woman looked off into space. She spoke reverently. "She died." 


End file.
